September 17, 2014

Priceless Relationship Advice for Women from a Male Point of View

By Kieron Walker   Posted at  Wednesday, September 17, 2014   Relationships No comments
One of the most routine things some women do when it comes to relationships is take advice from other women. Not that all women offer bad advice, but if you are struggling to understand men then why not ask a man? If your ultimate goal is to find and keep a good man in your life, you may want to start by asking another good man for some relationship advice.

The answers you receive may or may not shock you, but they are sure to be different than the tips you may receive in those monthly relationship magazines. For those of you without any impartial guy friends to ask, here are some relationship tips from a male point of view that may help.

The Perfect Man Does Not Exist

Let's just get this one out of the way first. There is no perfect guy. There never has been a perfect guy. There never will be a perfect guy. Stop searching for him, and learn to appreciate more of the imperfect guys that are readily available to you.

Ultimately, the best person for you will have flaws. He may even end up having a ton of flaws. However, the thing to focus on is finding a person that has flaws that are not deal-breakers in the grand scheme of things. Sure they may annoy you from time to time, but over time you can learn to accept and live with them. Who knows, they could possibly even become endearing traits that you miss when the person is away for an extended period of time.

A Man is Not a Makeover Project

Being in a relationship is not like becoming the host of Extreme Man Makeover. If you cannot learn to appreciate the person you are with for who they are when you meet them, then move on and find someone else that you can appreciate.

Trying to turn a man into a project will just annoy them over time because they will always feel unappreciated and eventually fall back into being the person they were when you met them. It also sends a message to the man that who they are as a person just is not enough for you, and that is a recipe for disaster.

Check Your Past Baggage at the Door

If you go into a new relationship carrying the baggage from the last relationship, expect problems. At some point you are going to have to learn to treat all of your new relationships as a clean slate, and stop blaming new guys for things that old guys did to you.

Does this mean that your new relationships will have different results? Not necessarily. Some of them may end in familiar ways, but at least you are giving them a chance to succeed at the start. If things flame out, just learn your lesson and move on to the next guy. Learn to accept the fact that not all relationships are meant to last a long time, but try not to go into them thinking that they are bound for failure.

After all, the bad results could truly be more a result of the types of men that you choose to date or the places at which you are meeting them.

Man-Hating is Not Attractive

Sure there are plenty of reasons to talk negatively about men, but there is no reason to do it directly to the man you are dating. Man-haters usually find themselves trapped in a cycle due to their inability to stop talking down about other men in their lives. Usually it stems from a bad relationship or series of relationships in their past. Eventually they hit the stage where they distrust men in general. For whatever reason, they still want to date yet cannot resist the urge to bash mankind during the date. Once the new guy gets tired of the negativity, he too stops calling and now she has one more reason to hate men.

If for some reason you have negative things built up inside about a current or former man in your life, find another female friend to whom you can vent. This will allow you to get it out of your system without painting you as a bitter old woman during your next date. It will probably also make you a more happy person overall which will lead to having a better time with the person you are interested in.

Your Past Does Not Equal Your Present

There are few things that men hate more than being compared to other men. No man in his right mind enjoys hearing about how good your last boyfriend was at anything in life. Very few men enjoy hearing how bad your last boyfriend was at anything. In most cases, men just do not want to hear about your last boyfriend at all.

In addition to becoming annoying, it just ends up making you sound like you have not gotten over your past. In the long run, this will just cause your present to pull away from you. And while you are at it, find a way to either get rid of or hide all the old gifts, cards, and jewelry that may have been given to you. Do you really think your boyfriend wants to see you wearing something that was given to you by another man?

Real Love is Not on Reality TV

Reality television is killing reality. The things that happen on these tv shows are not real, so please do not expect your man to act like that! Just because The Bachelor is able to go on extravagant dates every night of the week does not mean that your man has a will or a way to make those things happen also. Sometimes instead of expecting a midnight horse and carriage ride, you may have to lower your expectations and appreciate what your man is willing to offer you at the time. After all, sharing ice cream on the porch at night really is not that bad of an idea is it?

It is pretty obvious the damage that shows like Maury can do to your outlook on relationships. By the end of one or two episodes of that show, you will think that every guy that crosses your path has two or three unknown children.

Do yourself a favor and stick to shows that portray relationships in a positive light, or just stay away from television altogether.

Keep Your Single Friends at a Distance

Once you find yourself in a relationship, one of the best things you can do is limit your exposure to your single friends with negative attitudes towards love. Certain single friends are single for a reason, and the more time spent around them is either going to make you long to be single as well or cause you to mistrust your current partner. Chances are these single friends were either involved in shady relationships or they are shady themselves, and extended exposure to those kind of personalities is nothing good in the long run.

Spending time with other couples will allow you to bond with your partner and still interact with other people so you are not driving each other crazy. Over time, you may even be able to ask your single friends to join so they can see that not every relationship is a negative thing.

Understand that People Develop Over Time

Possibly the most important thing to know is that although it takes a while for some men to grow up, it does eventually happen for most of them. Just because your man does not want to have sex with you 5 times a day does not mean that he has lost all interest in you. It does not mean that he no longer loves you. It just means that he no longer wants to have sex that many times. It could also mean that he is physically unable to have sex that many times. Rather than getting mad about it, find a way to discuss it and come to a compromise.

Looking outside of your relationship for an answer, is not the answer. Sure the construction worker down the street or the guy at the nightclub may say things you have not heard in years, but are they still going to be saying those things years down the line? Probably not. Give your guy some credit being there by your side over the years. Be happy for the things he does do for you, and try not to take the little stuff for granted.

Try a New Venue or a New Guy

Clubs are usually not a good place to meet people for long-term relationships. Women know this. Men know this. Yet for some reason, people keep going to clubs expecting something different. If you are looking for a quality relationship, try going to different places. You may find that guys treat you differently when you do not have on make-up and heels. It is possible they see you as more of a person and less of an object. Anything is possible.

Another thing you can do is try hanging out with different types of people. If you find yourself getting in trouble with certain types of guys, stop hanging out with those types of guys. It is that simple. Maybe the person you always overlook is really the person that you are meant to be with. Give them a shot, and if it does not work then you just move on to someone new.

If It's Over, It's Over

Turning a bad relationship into an emotional roller coaster is a bad idea for everyone involved. If you just cannot get anything productive going with the person you are with, then cut your losses and move on. After all, at a certain point you are just wasting your time that you could be with someone else. Even time by yourself is better than being trapped in a negative relationship.

Keep it honest, keep it respectful, and then keep it moving. Hopefully some part of this helps out on the road to a long, meaningful relationship.

September 15, 2014

Do You Know the Difference in Being Alive and Truly Living?

By Kieron Walker   Posted at  Monday, September 15, 2014   Miscellaneous No comments
The way I see it everyone wakes up with a choice on how we want to live our lives. Some of us choose to make the most out of each day, while others choose to just go through the motions. For most of us, just being alive means waking up and going through the steps of our daily routine. We eat breakfast, go to work, pay bills, interact with friends and family, and then go to sleep with the plans of starting the cycle over the next day.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with deciding to just be alive.It definitely beats the alternative of not being alive at all. However, I always view just being alive with deciding to live life as it comes rather than taking control of the situation.

Making the Most of Each Moment

Truly living is taking the time to look deeper into our relationships and our experiences. It's about finding out why we relate to certain people and why we enjoy certain things. Truly living is about taking risks and expanding our comfort zones. It's about not letting fear dictate our choices in life.

Truly living is being able to stare failure in the face without flinching. It's about having an opinion and being willing to share it without knowing how others will react. Truly living is being able to acknowledge that none of us is perfect, and being ready to learn from other people around us regardless of our differences.

Truly living is being able to wake up each day and do what we love to do, not just what we have to do. It's about letting our passions in life guide us instead of following our finances.

Truly living is realizing when you are just being alive and doing something about it before it is too late.

Ways to Live Life to the Fullest Extent

30 Ways to Live Life to the Fullest | Tiny Buddha
Maybe living a passionate life has nothing to do with its length and everything to do with its width. Here's how Tiny Buddha's friends live life to the fullest.

101 Ways To Live Your Life To The Fullest

39 Ways to Live, and Not Merely Exist - by Dumb Little Man

What Choice Do You Make on a Daily Basis?

Do you choose to just be alive? Are you out truly living life to the fullest extent? Or does it seem to vary day to day?

September 12, 2014

How to Save Money and Prevent Excessive Spending

By Kieron Walker   Posted at  Friday, September 12, 2014   Life No comments
Being broke is one of the most frustrating and helpless feelings a person can have. The stress that comes about as a result of having no money in your bank account can be mind-boggling. Trying to figure out a way to overcome the situation can be even more challenging.

Whether your situation is due to unemployment, excessive bills, or trying to maintain a hard budget, there are ways to pool up some extra cash to provide some temporary relief. If you really take a moment to analyze your daily life and spending habits, you would be surprised at all of the little ways that you can save yourself money. Some of them may require building new habits, but ultimately the feeling of having more money at you disposal should make it worth the effort.

The suggestions below are just a few of the many ways that changing your spending habits can get you more money in the bank. Hopefully over time, they relieve some stress and get you back on track financially.

Sell Off Some of Your Junk

One of the easiest ways to put money back in your wallet is to look around your house and garage for items that you no longer use. In doing so, be sure to be very realistic about how often you have used something in the past, and how often you plan on using it in the future. You may find that the power drill you just had to have last year no longer holds much value to you. The good thing is that the items you no longer need may be coveted by other people. Set up a yard sale one weekend and you may be very surprised at just how much money you can make.

Another option for people who may have fewer items or who do not live in an area where a yard sale may be feasible is to try selling items online. Places like eBay and Craigslist give you a chance to post your items and either sell to the highest bidder or post for a flat fee. Either way you come out with money for an item that you no longer use.

Alternatives to Selling on eBay

17 Alternatives to eBay in 2013 for Online Sellers and Small Businesses
For the majority of online buyers and sellers, eBay has become synonymous with the online marketplace. However, there are alternatives out there.

Get a Roommate or Rent a Room
If you have an apartment with an extra room or two, you may want to consider getting a roommate or two. While you may have to give up some of your independence, you may also save a ton of money by splitting the rent and utility bills. The money saved can get you back on track and possibly even set you in a position to have a place of your own one day.

If you own a home and find yourself in a financial bind, you may want to try renting out a room in your house. While this can be tricky depending on the layout of your house, it can be successful with the right tenant. You may find that your mortgage bill is not quite as painful after you make the change.

Negotiate With Your Neighbors

If you live in an apartment or multi-family dwelling, you may be able to save some money by sharing expenses with your neighbors. Depending on your living situation, there may be some utilities (such as trash, Internet, and washer/dryer) that you are able to share.

If you feel comfortable doing so, let your neighbor know that you are willing to split the bill if they are interested. You may find that they are willing to share one of their utilities in exchange for one of yours. It may not seem like a lot of savings in the beginning, but over the course of a year it could really add up.

Use Local Public Transportation

With gas prices being so outrageous, it is kind of surprising that people do not take more advantage of their public transportation systems. While it may not be efficient to use public transportation all the time, there are plenty of weekly errands that can be performed without the use of a car.

In addition to buses and subways, people can also save money by riding their bikes more often. Rather than wasting gas by driving a car down the street, people can easily choose to walk or ride their bicycles instead.

If you have a reliable public transportation system or bicycle and do frequent errands in a nearby radius, you owe it to yourself to try them instead of driving everywhere. In the long run, you will save your wallet and the environment in the process.

Furnish Your Home Using Craigslist

If you are in the process of moving or redecorating, one of the best ways to save money is by searching through Craigslist or going to local yard sales. You may find yourself surprised to see the quality of many of the items that people put up for sale.

In many cases, people may be moving to new locations and have to get rid of their old furniture due to space constraints. You may also find people who are upgrading their furniture and are just looking for ways to get rid of their old items. In either case, you may luck up and get good furniture for a seriously low price.

Try Freecycling

The Freecycle Network
A grassroots movement of people who are giving (and getting) stuff for free in their own towns.

Use Free or Low Priced Entertainment

One of the best sources of entertainment is also one of the most overlooked resources in our society, the public library. In addition to housing tons of new and old books, most libraries also have music and movies available for the general public to check out. Rather than spending money on CDs and DVDs, make a stop by your local library and check them out for free instead.

If you have an Internet connection, there are also sites available where you can watch movies and television shows for free. Hulu and Crackle broadcast selected television series and also have collections of movies and documentaries available for viewing.

If you have an older collection of books, music, or movies in your home, take advantage of exchanges such as PaperBack Swap, Swap A DVD, or Swap A CD. Once you sign up, people can request items that you no longer wish to keep. After you mail out the item, you receive a credit that you can use towards requesting an item from another person. If the book or movie is not available, you can get put on a waiting list and be notified once another owner puts it up for grabs.

Eat Out Less During the Week
One of the most basic ways to save money during the course of the month is to cook more and eat out less. While nobody can debate how convenient it is to go out to lunch or dinner, the price tag will eventually catch up to you. Even getting a value meal for five dollars at lunch every day can get pricey, and does not compare to the money you could have saved by making your own lunch.

With respects to lunch, an easy alternative is to invest in a crock-pot and make meals that you can spread out over the week. After cooking a crock-pot full of food on a Sunday, split it up into separate containers. Place the containers in the freezer and take one to work each day. Rather than wasting money at a fast food restaurant, all you have to do is warm up your homemade food in the microwave.

In the end, you not only save money but you will probably end up with a more nutritious meal as well.

Go Out Less During the Weekends

A quick way to save money is to limit the number of times you go out to bars, clubs, and movie theaters. While they are a huge source of entertainment, they can also be a very expensive option over time.

By no means do you have to just sit at home and stare at the walls though. You just have to readjust how to have your normal social gatherings.

If watching movies is your idea of having fun, organize movie nights with your friends and family. Rather than going to the actual theater, pick a friend's home to host the festivities. Make some snacks and enjoy the movie surrounded by your closest friends and family members. You can even rotate who gets to host the movie night in order to keep it fresh.

Game night is another option if your friends need a break from watching movies. Get a group of people together and play some of your favorite board games or card games. Classics like Scrabble, Pictionary, Trivial Pursuit, UNO, and Poker never get old.

How Do You Save Money?

If you look around hard enough, there are tons of ways to save little bits of money. Over time these could really add up for you. What other ways are you saving money for yourself?

September 10, 2014

Drinking Alcohol Safely and Responsibly in College -- The Ultimate Guide

By Kieron Walker   Posted at  Wednesday, September 10, 2014   Miscellaneous No comments
While many college students will be quick to tell you that their main focus is on academics, there will also be plenty who feel that their social life is just as important. For some of those students, drinking alcohol is just a part of the college experience and a way to bond with the people around them. However when used irresponsibly, alcohol can lead to dire consequences.

The tips below are beneficial for any college student that is considering drinking while on campus. Whether you are just having your first drink or you regularly go out every weekend after class, the suggestions below can give you something to consider and could ultimately end up saving your life.

Don't Drive Under the Influence't_Mix_'Em_1937.jpg
The most obvious and widespread safety tip when it comes to drinking is do not drink and then drive. However, every year people hear this advice and proceed to drive drunk. Although some people are lucky and somehow make it to their destination, there are others who end up causing car wrecks which kill or critically injure themselves, their passengers, or innocent bystanders.

One of the most frustrating things about drunk driving is that it is so preventable. By using one of the steps below, you can avoid putting yourself in a potentially fatal position:

  • Have one of your friends be the designated driver for the night. That friend should avoid drinking any alcohol and make sure that your group gets around safely for the night. Many bars are set up so that designated drivers get non-alcoholic drinks for free as a thank you for taking care of their friends.
  • Catch a taxi or shuttle bus to the bar or club you plan on attending. Many colleges have special agreements in place with local cab companies to provide services for college students. Before going out for the night, check with your campus safety department to see if any programs are in place.
  • If the social scene is close to where you live, consider walking. Not only will you be avoiding driving drunk, you will also be making an environmentally-conscious decision. If you decide to walk, make sure that you do not do it alone as this could lead to other safety concerns.

On top of never driving a vehicle after drinking alcohol, make sure that you prevent your friends from doing the same. If you notice anyone in your group attempting to drive home after a night on the town, do the responsible thing and take their keys. It is better to have a disagreement for one night than to possibly lose a friendship forever.

Don't Binge Drink

College is a place where students are going to have a good time, but when doing so it is important to know your limits. Drinking mass quantities of alcohol in a small period of time is not only unsafe but also potentially fatal.

One of the major dangers of binge drinking is the increased potential for alcohol poisoning. Alcohol poisoning results when the amount of alcohol in the bloodstream is so high that it starts to cause difficulty breathing, seizures, and blacking out. In some cases, this condition can lead to coma and death.

Another downfall to binge drinking is impaired decision making. In some situations, people that are highly intoxicated may not make the same sound judgments that they would make otherwise. This can sometimes lead to physical altercations, unintended sexual behaviors, and other improper social interactions.

The best way to avoid being in this position is to know your limits when it comes to drinking. The following steps will also help to avoid a good time from turning into a nightmare:

  • If you are going to drink, try to spread it out over a longer time period. Give your liver a fighting chance to process the alcohol that you are putting in your bloodstream.
  • Understand that eating before drinking will not prevent you from getting drunk. Although it may slow down alcohol from getting in your bloodstream, you can still get drunk. Do not give yourself the green light to go crazy just because you had a meal first.
  • Know what your body feels like as you are getting drunk. Many people end up in tough situations because they do not listen to their own body's warning signs.

Going out to have a good time while in college is a healthy experience. However, going out to drink to become massively intoxicated is not a healthy choice. Listen to your body and avoid ending up in the hospital.

Don't Mix Alcohol with Other Drugs

One of the more dangerous sides of drinking comes when it is combined with the use of other drugs. When consumed by itself, alcohol acts like a depressant which slows breathing and heart rates. When used in combination with some drugs, the depressant effect can become twice as bad causing the user to stop breathing or their heart to stop beating. When alcohol is mixed with stimulants, it could result in the user having a heart attack or stroke.

Some of the more common drug interactions are listed below:

Possible Result When Mixed With Alcohol
Marijuana Increased intoxication
Cocaine Increased heart attack and stroke risk
Sedatives Dangerously low heart and breathing rates
Aspirin Increased risk of internal bleeding

Don't Use A Fake ID
While using a fake ID is not necessarily a threat to your physical safety, it is still something that can get you in a world of trouble. Many underage college students use false identification in order to buy alcohol or gain access to popular bars and clubs. However, they often do so without thinking of the possible consequences.

Depending on the circumstances and the state you reside in, here are a few of the possible outcomes you may face if you get caught using a fake ID:

  • You could possibly face jail time for a number of charges. Depending on the authorities, you could be charged for identity theft, falsifying a government document, or underage drinking.
  • If you end up not going to jail, you could be facing a steep fine for some of the reasons mentioned above. Not to mention, you may end up with a criminal record which could impact your future job opportunities.
  • If you use another person's ID in order to get in a bar or get drinks, you could also end up getting them in trouble. The law could end up charging them for an offense whether the person knew about your plan or not.
  • If the club or bar let you in and you somehow get busted later, the establishment that let you in could face fines or possible closure.
  • Depending on what school you attend, you could also face probation or expulsion for being caught up in legal trouble while attending the school.

Ultimately, using a fake ID is not worth the potential trouble it could get you into. It is better to wait until you are the legal age to drink in your area in order to avoid the stress.

Don't Drink Around Strangers

Drinking and going out are social activities, so of course there are going to be plenty of moments when you are surrounded by people you do not know. The key is to make sure you do not put yourself in a dangerous position by becoming overly intoxicated without having any friends nearby. This behavior could lead you to being stranded in a strange area, or at its worst result in you being physically harmed by someone you do not know.

In order to stay safe while out on the town, try the following techniques:

  • If you are planning on drinking somewhere, make sure that you go out with at least one other friend. In most cases, you may want to have more than one friend with you. The reasoning is that your friends will be available to help you in case you get into some sort of trouble as a result of your drinking. They can also "babysit" you in case you drink to the point of being sick.
  • Do not accept drinks directly from the hands of people you do not know (excluding the bartender or server). Unfortunately, there are innocent people who have been given drinks laced with drugs. In some cases, the victims have been sexually assaulted by the person who gave them the drink.
  • Always make sure you have a ride home or a plan to get a ride home. Having to rely on complete strangers to get home after a night of drinking is a gamble that can have bad consequences.

Enjoying the social aspect of drinking is fine, just be sure that you use common sense in order to avoid someone taking advantage of you.

Use Common Sense

Ultimately when it comes to drinking on and off a college campus, practicing common sense is often the key to staying safe. Know what your limits are, and do your best to look after yourself and your friends when you are out having fun.

Although the college years can be wild and carefree, all it takes is one bad decision to bring them all to an unfortunate end.

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